I have not written in a long time.  I have been waiting for a good time,  when my heart was not hurting so much.  I just have not been able to reach one of those kind of times in a while.  I have been looking through pictures tonight.  I have laughed at some,  cried at others,  some have touched my heart again.  I could hear Andrew’s voice in my mind laughing with me at some,  I really miss his belly laugh.  He loved to laugh and loved to make others laugh.  I miss his personality,  our whole family does.  He had a way of making tense situations not be so tense.  I have thought of my dear Andrew a lot to day.  It is an anniversary day of one of his DIPG friends, Alexis.  I have often wondered what the best thing is to say to someone on these day’s.  Nothing any one says to me ever makes a difference.  What makes a difference is not words,  but there presence.  It is nice when people just talk about Andrew with us.  It is always such a joy to our hearts when people ask about him, share stories about him with us.  It does not matter if we have heard the stories before,  they are a joy to here again.  One thing that I have learned is that grieving a child is never over.  And I have had to learn that it is ok for us to still grieve.  I know some DIPG parents read my blog at times and I wish I could say that things get easier.  After all I am a pastor and I am suppose to have all the right words to say,  but I still have not found them.  I learned along time ago that my job is not to solve every one’s problems and hurts and difficulties.  I learned that it is ok that I don’t have all the answers.  I learned my job is simple to bring them to the one that does.  There are many truths I continue to hang onto today.  Some calling clinging faith,  I just call it faith.  Psalm 55:22 ” Cast thy burden upon the Lord and he shall sustain you,  He will never suffer the righteous to be moved.”  A song that has become more special to me is Burdens are lifted at Calvary…

1. Days are filled with sorrow and care,
Hearts are lonely and drear.
Burdens are lifted at Calvary,
Jesus is very near.

CHORUS:
Burdens are lifted at Calvary, Calvary, Calvary;
Burdens are lifted at Calvary, Jesus is very near.

2. Cast your care on Jesus today,
Leave your worry and fear.
Burdens are lifted at Calvary,
Jesus is very near.

3. Troubled soul, the Savior can feel
Every heartache and tear.
Burdens are lifted at Calvary,
Jesus is very near.

I am very thankful that my Lord has been very near to me the past couple of years,  It is the only way we could have made it.

 

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